Dear Friends

I wish to talk to you about direction and directions today. We have two words here and equally two different meanings. In our lives, we feel we must have direction or we are lost; yet there are many different directions for us to choose in any given situation. Yes, there is the choice. We could now discuss for a very long time what it means to “have direction”, to lose oneself or not and whether that is important or not. I will leave that to you. I am sure there are as many opinions as people who are prepared to think about them.

Choice is a tricky thing: sometimes it is so easy to make a choice. This can depend on the offer of selection, but there is also a bigger picture here: some events we just can’t foresee and therefore they are impossible to control. Where does decision making come in when we are not in control? In such instances life becomes more challenging and we have to be brave and take a few risks. We may need our friends in these times. Maybe it is also good to secure our landmarks, whether they are our faith, our politics, our work, our family, our finances, etc. Whatever they are they can be a security for us and it helps to have purpose, wanting to achieve a goal and have an idea what that goal is. Our belief system may be tested and unknown options must be taken into consideration. The challenge is on and it may seem a gamble. Isn’t life a gamble anyway, an amazingly beautiful gamble? However, only we are the competent captains of the ship, which navigates through our life. We shouldn’t let anybody else take the helm of the vessel.

My beautiful friend Sholeh said the other day: the rudder only works in the water. I learnt so much when she mentioned that. How true is it! It is imperative to have a plan for navigation, a map and experience. As the captain we have to deal with the condition of the water and the weather at any given time. So, you see, the initial direction may become different directions as we plough ahead on our journey, finding the path as we go along. The voyage will end up compromising our ability to be flexible, doesn’t it! Are we able to adapt to the currents of the turmoil life throws us into? Are we coping with the storms or are the storms of life giving us such a rough treatment that we can’t see clearly anymore? Do we make good use of the rudders? Or do we panic, scream in horror for assistance without trying to help ourselves first? Do we expect somebody else to take over? Somebody or something like fate, an event, a man, a strong woman, a specialist? I think it is a very good question to ponder. Are we ready for the responsibility of handling our life? Do we like it? Is it a scary ocean of ferocious wildlife and movements or will its waves make space for us and our needs?

Taking responsibility of our life and life issues is not always welcome for all. We want to be cared for without making the effort to be our own best friends. Who better knows what’s good for us than ourselves? Love makes us do things, unimaginable things, beautiful things, crazy things. Let’s love life, our life whatever the inherent difficulties. It represents us, uniquely and irreplaceably. In everything negative there is something positive and vice versa. We can’t lose completely, we can always win again and we are never alone unless we choose so.

As a story I have chosen a Chinese story from the Ming Dynasty about choice, direction to take and the implication of decision making:

There were two brothers, whose temperaments were very different even though they had the same parents. The elder brother was greedy and lazy and always haggled over every detail. The young one was diligent, decent and affectionate. One day, they went out to do some business in a cart. It was raining and road was slippery. The elder brother lost control of the halter and they fell down a cliff. They came to the netherworld. A guard, who was already waiting outside the court, took them to the King of Hell.

 The King of Hell said to them: "Since neither of you has done anything exceptional or any very bad thing, both of you will be reincarnated as human again. Judge! Check whether there are families who are going to have babies.

The presiding judge studied the Roster of Life and Death carefully and said: "My King, two families, the Zhao and the Xie, are having predestined sons. The son of the Zhao will be giving aid to others when he grows up, but the Xie's son will be receiving help from others.

" The King of Hell said: "Such being the case, let these two brothers to be born to these two families.

Upon hearing the King's decision, the elder brother thought: If I am born to the Zhao's family, I will be working hard and giving support to others. I will be too busy running about helping others. It would be more leisurely and comfortable to receive help from others. Upon making up his mind, the elder brother knelt before the King: "My King, it will be too hard to work all my life for others. I beg your mercy to let me born to the Xie's family so I will receive help from others." The King asked: "Who will be born to the Zhao's family then?" The younger brother said: "My King, let my elder brother be born to the Xie family. I am willing to be Zhao's son and help others in need."

The two brothers were thus born to the Zhao and the Xie families, respectively. Because of his vow to help those in need, the young brother was born to the noble and rich Zhao's family. When he grew up, he was benevolent and always helped others in need. Because of the wealth of Zhao’s family, he was able to help many others.

But the elder brother, whose wish was to get help from others, was born to the poor Xie's family and he had to beg for the remains of meals and always received charity and sympathy from others.

 As the saying goes, "To give is richer than to receive." It is most precious to have humanity. When people have kind hearts, heaven will help them.

My choice of photo is the following choice of attitude:

In love and light and choice

Mariana
www.mariana-amar.com